Friday, September 09, 2005
3:50 AM
freak. jus came back frm weijiang's farewell party.. feelin shytty all over.. guess i let my emotions cloud my mind again =( was feelin so high at the start, with all the chocs and the thot of havin a chance to make things betta..however disappointments start to come bangin on my door.. stuff like kenneth havin me rush cuz he is in a hurry but it turns out he kept some time apart for me to reach, not bein able to play tennis cuz of time constraints and such.. these are the kind of stuff dat dun really bother me much.. the biggest disappointment was not bein able to make things betta instead worse =( when i did the preparations, wad went thru my mind was i gotta do it well cuz 'ppl' will be hungry if the food aint nice and it musnt be spicy.. when we( weijiang, alivin and i) went out to get stuff i only can rmb chocs for 'ppl'.. cuz i happened to know dat 'ppl' wants to eat and i chose a variety in case 1 didnt suit the likin..however it all came to nought.. ouch~ dats wad i feel even now.. seriously feel dat i expected too much and i allowed emotions to take over, freak! but den again damnit its hard! man, i dun understand whyy it has to be this way freak.. the best part was the last sms for the day, owwww~! its still embedded in my mind, heart and soul.. someone tell me where did i go wrong again, freak..damnit this is jus freakin not the way things are supposed to be!
gotta do some apologisin as well.. edwin esp, cuz i really threw ever shyt i had to him.. really sorry, cuz its him dat i really hafta thank and be grateful for always bein dere to help me out.. kenneth, alvin, beng and weijiang as well.. feel so guilty for the shyt they had to take in frm me.. guess i cant leave jingying and ppl out as well, sorry.. damnit, i hafta go re-think and re-do wisely for the next time.. provided there is dat is =(
|| bingybullshitted ||